Can’t Women Just Be Great…Instead of a Feminist?

It’s not because I fell from glory with my last POS relationship.  I owned being a psuedo-feminist long before getting sick and even decided to just take a big swallow of Grow-the-F*ck-Up meds because life happens.  I’m talking about how the media is making every-damn-body a feminist, and there doing a whole lot worse than trying to convert a womanizer into a productive adult.  Even magazine and TV ads are taking a psuedo-feminist angle that is only backfiring.

Sexy for a Cause?

Back to Fun…About Sexual Harassment on the Job

I don’t know about you but I’m ready to move the hell on.  Now that underemployed actresses are using their sexual harassment tales to get much-needed publicity.(Hint: her show on a basic cable network just got the ax.)  Let’s take a brief look as to why we need real action and not just words.

What About Us Ugly People that aren’t Rich?

Like it or not, the people that have flooded the internet are NOT average.  They are not the overworked/underpaid secretaries, waitresses, or security officers. Their sexual harassment is another story that is told often to deaf ears. Yes, some receive a settlement after months of being unemployed….or worse. 

And there are those who wait for karma to kick in but leave in the meantime.  In some cases that’s the best way because an individual or small company can file for bankruptcy.  The only thing is either sticking it out until something new comes along.  Or, if you just can’t take it, hope your extended vacay doesn’t result in sleeping on Mom’s couch.

Stop Paying for Silicone be More like Teflon

Starting over isn’t easy but it is possible…and sometimes necessary.  We as women need to train ourselves to accept that assets equal power.  Whether tangible or not, life is about more than shopping or spending time with people we barely tolerate.

While sexual harassment may not disappear entirely, we can avoid it by standing up to predators.  If no company protocol is in place, talk to a lawyer and start saving your money if you don’t already.

Truth, I don’t have all of the answers because everyone is different.  However, just having the essentials (like a money stash your partner doesn’t know about) is a start.  What I do have is a couple of videos that poke fun at this barbaric behavior.

Will the Casting Couch Become History?

I’m only a consumer here and have no solid Intel about how Hollywood casting couch works but it’s very real.  But I’m glad to see one of the main predators is being taken down, even if the scandal seems sensationalized.  I mean the couch goes back to the silent film era and I’m not surprised that men are also victims.  Every time I watch the episode of I Love Lucy that guest-starred Rock Hudson, I only shake my head because he probably loved Ricky instead.  This isn’t about gay-bashing but possibly the beginning of the end of the BS that has been passed off as entertainment for the past few decades.

So You Got a Little Bit of Talent

Yeah, I can sing too and my impressions are pretty neat also.  Like most people, I hate working a regular job and would really like to get paid insane money…to do nothing.  I’m not talking about the people who put in hours crafting a fantastic image to complement the talent so they will leave this earth as a legend.  More like cute people that can hardly sing because their voices a dubbed a million times.  People who say a few lines on a badly-written script for a movie or TV show and spend hours sitting in a trailer getting high.  Then there’s the new celebrity by association, or worse, a reality show contestant who manages to go big time.  Yes, there’s the occasional exception.  But have you ever noticed that some young (under 50) people hate the current entertainment culture?

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You Get On the Couch and Now You Die (On the Inside)

The video above is not pretty but it does confirm a lot of what I’ve heard about Hollyweird over the years.  Nasty, corrupt, cold, and will steal from any artist that’s game for the okey-doke.  We see the stories all the time.  They go broke after making millions over a year or two (no one believes in investing?) All after dealing with a casting couch.  It’s in the film and music industries and it’s been this way for over a century.  Word on the street is that anyone who will do ANYTHING to be a star needs to get those knee pads ready with a king-size jar of Vaseline before they let it R.I.P. (pun intended)

Hate Breast Cancer? The Boobie Sisters Have a Message for You

More than a year ago, I was pretty upset. After having a wonderful team throughout my uterine cancer journey, my choices were decreasing with every visit. In the past couple of years after going into remission, I’d seen scared residents, snarky docs, scary docs (like they’d rather be at a Marilyn Manson concert) and one who refused me a breast exam.  Since my remission was more than two years and counting, there was no need for a mammogram.  Boo!

In case you didn’t know, most who have dealt with reproductive cancer should have their breasts examined at least once a year. We are programmed to think that the doc is always right but even the American Cancer Society says otherwise. Instead of a mammogram or nutritionist, this bitch wanted to put me on pills for a BP read of 140/95 (not good but since it rises with weight gain, I would’ve gladly taken the diet for 100, Alex).

So after a long battle dealing with insurance, bad links, and even worse leads – I came up with a solution.  Instead of going to a single place to do everything, I went to three different places and prioritized accordingly.  One for the blood work, another for the mammogram, and my Pap was done at a local clinic.

Everyone that Visits the Doc Deserves a Toast

Now here’s the awesome part.  Every visit to my old doc had a 2-3 hour wait (except for the few times I had to go to urgent care).  Even when I went into remission, the oncology nurse once leaked to me that she always saved me for last since I was the easiest to get along with.  Love her but I like not spending my afternoons in a nervous state, thank you.  Not to mention that this could’ve triggered my borderline blood pressure issues.

This is just to say that if a woman (or man) doesn’t have a lot of money to spare, there’s hope.  Non-profits like the Y and others have low (and no) cost breast exam programs.  Best of all, they want for people to come in so no one is judged or berated.

Be back soon but enjoy the video!

Live Large on Reality TV…Not Always

Over the weekend, I had the misfortune to stumble upon a reality show that makes light of a real problem.  Livin’ Large had a six-episode run on Friday (9/23/17) and so far, I can’t see if it will air again or if Spectrum will have it On-Demand.  It’s about the Stepneys, a Chicago family of six who are obese and beyond… but that’s not the problem.  While I know that reality TV shows can be sensationalized for ratings, I’d always thought Lifetime would scale back on the “extras”.  The extras being this family having a lack attitude about diet and the comfort in being (or at least looking) physically uncomfortable.  I’m not saying they should wake up in the morning doing jumping jacks and eating rice cakes for breakfast but the stereotype of being black, fat, and happy is disturbing.


If you’ve followed me for the past few years, then you may be wondering if I’ve become preachy.  The answer is yes but I do believe anyone can live a productive life when they take care of themselves first with little compromise. That means sweets (or other guilty pleasures) are few and far between.  Though it showed the family being somewhat active and social (YAY for those factors because I’ve known people who allowed morbid obesity to shut them off from the world), a regular and sensible routine should have been the focus of the program instead of the sister’s singing career (another stereotype that isn’t bad but too many people have approached me about singing in my adult life).

So yeah, I’m still dealing with my issue but the journey has had its painful moments.  I know that when you’re large, it takes balls to work out among a bunch of strangers but it may be necessary to lose weight.  Not everyone knows how (or has the strength after a full day or work) to prepare nutritionally-balanced meals, so they eat out.  Problem with that is even when you call yourself eating a “light” meal, what may be lacking in calories may have high amounts of saturated fat, sugar and sodium. Reader’s Digest



Since I’m a cancer survivor (so far, my remission is 3 years and counting), there’s one thing I can’t dodge and it gives me inspiration to TRY to do better…that dreaded doctor’s visit.  Get on the scale (and if you’re retaining fluid…oh well, it still counts toward your BMI).  Get naked (and hope there’s a single gown that will fit) and hope there’s nothing in your vitals that will get anyone’s attention.  If you’ve been told your blood pressure is too high, read this article before getting on meds.

Plumbers Have No Love For Us Ladies

You’re probably like ‘and water is wet’ but the truth is that most plumbers see women and the elderly as easy targets.  The Daily Mail UK reports that plumbers will charge up to fifty percent more for simple jobs like a clogged drain.  Anyone who has dealt with a plumber jock (especially one with large overhead or a small clientele) knows they will look around for anything they can charge money for.  However, not all men know everything and some are reckless when it comes keeping drains clean (it’s called fiber, your toilet will love you for it, LOL).  But seriously, there are some common things we do every day that eventually lead up to having to look at someone’s butt crack and fearing the worst.

If you rent, you may be spared from some of the expense.  However, more landlords are putting clauses in rental agreements that stress they will only pay for a minimal number of plumber visits if the tenant is at fault.  If you plan to move in the near future, a suggestion would be to go for properties with a small number of units.  The reason why is that most greedy landlords don’t care about who they let live in a place with a lot of units…until some damage has been done.  They want to get that place rented out as quickly as possible and will gamble (or negotiate) on most anything like bad credit, criminal history, or recent eviction.  Here’s a list of ways to prevent plumbing problems.

While the above video is intended for owners, there are some tips that renters can use as well.  Though some property owners/managers may attempt to educate tenants about pouring grease down pipes, some will wait until it’s too late.  Once again, fewer units, fewer problems overall.


Maybe the below scenario has happened to you.  Enjoy.


Money…to Love It is to Respect It

You know that time of year is around the corner…in fact, you may be planning how to spend your holiday money right now. I got to gift card status (give and receive, thank you) a couple of years ago and I still get catalogs in the mail. Anyway, I’m here to save you from the trap called holiday shopping…or I’ll try to share some knowledge.

Some of the nicest (and unique) gifts I’ve received have been handmade and I’d rather spend time with those I care about instead of some overcrowded mall. And the worst part of holiday spending is breaking out the plastic.  Woo-the-freak-hoo, your credit card issuer gave you an extension right before the holidays to ensure that your spree will go uninterrupted.  Yeah, high-ass interest rates.  Yes, asking for an extension and not only accepting those fees but thanking the rep for understanding your situation.

This is not say stop giving to others but choose gifts wisely.  When I was coming up, I was a big, tall kid with bigger feet.  My family (bless them) used to spend hours at the mall buying me things I didn’t like or couldn’t wear.  I learned about the art of saving the tags for a full refund before I had a period.  Young people can be worse since they are encouraged to buy more devices, trends, and whatever than that of Gen-X’ers or Baby Boomers.

How about buying something that will bring monetary return?  Many working people aren’t aware of how easy it is to buy stocks.  I have a few and the returns have been nice, though my portfolio is kind of on the micro side. Or if you’re going shopping anyway, contact the MSPA about becoming a certified mystery shopper.  If you live in, or near, a major city you can probably find a shop or two without joining but getting that basic certification can even help you get phone or online gigs.

Not long ago, I was watching a washed-up celebrity reality program where one actress spent money like it was still their heyday.  While the problem may be psychological (and we’re not judging here), the truth is that she, like a lot of Americans, spend too much money on things they don’t really need.  You drive a nice distance to wait on a parking spot (there’s gas), then you walk around and probably indulge in a couple of impulse purchases (no real harm except for when it’s routine…like every payday), go eat (you can make gourmet burgers at home for half the price and your drink won’t be watered down) and somewhere along the way, the Credit Card acrobatics take place.  It feels good but changing how we spend money can feel better.

The Daily Worth has some basic suggestions for saving money.  You’ve probably heard them before but if you know and believe the expression “money is power”, then you know it’s never too late for change.

Making a Change for Safer Workplaces

The death of 19-year-old Kenneka Jenkins is probably the strongest message that none of us can party like we once did.  Random hook-ups (which some so-called feminists have referred to as “owning their sexuality”) can get violent.  Drinking from open containers is no longer a matter of sleeping it off (same goes for weed), as some have landed in the hospital – or the coroner’s office.

While the story has changed as to who really did what, my judgment lies with the Crowne Plaza Hotel outside of Chicago, where Jenkins’ body was found inside an industrial walk-in freezer.  Not only was due diligence not performed (more on that in a moment) but they refuse to show video footage of what really took place on that Friday (9/8/17).  By signing a petition with, this case will given more priority when submitted to Illinois governor Bruce Rauner.


Now, during my days of extreme partying and basically being a silly woman-child, I worked at one of the four-star hotel chains.  Though some workers were better than others (and would still have a career in hospitality years later), there was one key factor…making the guest feel welcome at all times.  As long as they paid the escalated stay fees, along with the mostly-average meals delivered by room service, there could never be too much attention when it came to details.

When I was working on the hotel strip near LAX, one thing was customary at all times.  The on-call manager does a walk-through of every nook and cranny, especially if there is an event or notables (read: celebrities) taking place or staying on the premises.  It didn’t matter what department they worked in, it was their job to do this at all times.  The late nights/early mornings were especially crucial during game nights, live performances, or any time where a little extra couldn’t hurt.

So where was the manager when a bunch of teens were having a party?  If the on-call manager was at the party (a big fat NO), were they drinking?  Who was the manager on duty that fateful night? Does a GM ever make random visits on weekends?  What about security personnel?  Were they getting their party on?  If so, they should be charged as well.  Most Crown Plazas are fairly large, was there only one person on site? If so, why?  It’s not like there’s no money.

Many questions to be answered but right now, let’s make a difference by making an example of this place.  While we can’t bring Ms. Jenkins back, we can take measures to protect others who may find themselves in a similar predicament.  More to come.

How Feminism and Christianity Have a Lot in Common

I know I’m going to get big-time raked over this but here goes…

Do you remember when probably the evilest person is your life got saved?  They were really over the top by wearing a cross pendant, reciting scriptures when they got a chance, and ALWAYS praying before meals…even snacks.

And this phase lasted maybe a year before they gradually returned to their evil ways.  However, like most Christians I knew growing up, they were more concerned about superficial shit than really helping themselves or their communities.  So, in short, it made sense that they remained their true selves because at least everything was congruent instead of contradictory.

It’s kind of the same with the latest wave of feminism where Instagram booty models, slorish celebrities, and others who never heard of Gloria Steinem or the suffrage movement love to wax poetic about feminism.  Don’t let them wear an attention-getting tee shirt (or other attire) with empowering text or imagery that will go viral.

Yep, this is what some are calling feminism…

Back to the days of the old site, I sold cute tees and other hard items with sassy slogans (some of which are still for sale, btw) but knew little beyond the third wave of feminism that took place in the mid-to-late 1990s.  Before starting this site, I even posted why I stopped using the F-word because it was a disservice to those who did more than post a couple of times a week.

Why Do Women Shoot Each Other Down in the Workplace?

In more than 20 years of working, I’ve had my share of conflicts and confrontations.  To keep it short, I’m a large and tall minority with dark skin and round features.  Figure in that I had no degree (I didn’t return to college until after I turned 40, and that was a knee-jerk reaction to not killing my female dog of a boss at the time), no solid contacts, and refused to cooperate knowing it would feed the corruption wheel some are afraid to get off of.

The truth is that more women are entering positions of power but at what cost?  Since my early adult years, I’ve read many first-hand accounts about women having to be “bitchy” to get ahead, or assert themselves on the regular to let people know they meant business.  Thing is that bulldog tactics are entertaining to a degree but if there’s something else going on that affects the future of the company…and your job is on the chopping block just because, is it REALLY worth the trouble?

I’d say not but one thing that got me through the madness was the few real women who were not afraid to pull my coattail or hip me to real game (things the average person will never learn in college). Many a times, their wisdom saved me from having to pay the rent late or miss out on another part of life. While this article shows several ways women can help one another on the job, I have a couple of takeaways you may find valuable.

That bitch at work is usually scared you will take their job.  This is especially common in jobs where older employees are encouraged to retire by a certain age.  The problem is that the individual doesn’t have the resources to retire and the thought of having to learn new technology in order to be marketable in the job pool is scary to them.  So, it’s easier for them to provoke you or begin a disciplinary process that will either extend their time on the job or get you fired before you gain enough seniority to make some moves.  Also, don’t forget those who got on a couch (or on their knees) to keep their job.  They’re REALLY scared because that supervisor most likely moved on and they’re not as attractive as they once were.

Don’t be afraid to conduct research on your situation.  There is a fine line between learning history and being a gossip monger, and the latter is something you definitely want to stay away from especially if you’re trying to establish a reputation.  If something doesn’t sound right, there’s is usually a background story you may be able to use to your advantage.  Should the kitchen be to hot for socializing, try to find a single low-key person and build a rapport before inviting them to lunch.  This should be done before any confrontations or disciplinary actions have been recorded.  Either as a primary or complementary resource, go to the internet.  Try to stay away from blogs and forums since they’re mostly opinion.  Google Advanced Search is your friend.

Finally, don’t make the mistake I did for years and bounce at the first sign of trouble.  While middle age can be a great thing, sometimes people are angry for a number of reasons, though I’ve found lack of accomplishment is the most common.  Many have lost their sense of adventure and find they have no life outside of work and a family that may not appreciate them.  And no, it’s not your fault but some find it easier to be an on-the-job bully rather than confront their REAL problems.  It may help to be a sounding board but tread carefully.